for Alicia

As I read over my last post, I can barely believe that I was writing it just as the accident happened. When I heard what happened to Alicia, I was sitting at Cafe Abir getting some work done. I saw that Tara had called earlier and I wondered why since we rarely spoke. It was Katelyn that saw the car wreck on the news. She said it sounded bad. I was immediately worried, but knew Alicia was strong and was somehow sure she'd pull through, no matter how bad it was. I never imagined I'd get the call from Tara later telling me that they've done all the tests and there was nothing more to do but prepare her body for organ donation.

Words really can't be found to express how utterly horrible this is. I wish I could have been there to say goodbye.

Alicia, you were my first best friend. You were my sole mentor and confidant 6-8th grade. The first time we ever hung out was a NE volleyball game. My mom came to pick you up and she dropped us off there. Remember skating almost every weekend? You were there when I got my first boyfriend, Jeremy. You were the one I told about my first kiss. I remember staying the night at your house a lot. You were always on AOL. Remember how obsessed you were with chatting online? Rocky, your little pomeranian dog, would hump your pillows and your stuffed animals, and get into the trash during a certain time of the month.... Remember how we always got so pissed because Tara got all the guys? And then Tara's sister called me Sarah Zemugly, and you used to laugh about it. Remember how we hated all the teachers at St. Peters. We had nicknames for all of them. Remember going to Blimpie's and making a complete mess, then ordering a pickle and then putting it down the slide at Star City Shores, and pretending it was a piece of poop? Remember stealing signs everywhere we went, and then hanging them on our walls? You were there for my first concert, Destiny's Child. Our inside jokes are endless, and I'm sure I'll come across more when I go through stuff at my Dad's house.

You were always self conscious of yourself, but you had no reason to be. You've grown into such a beautiful woman. I'm glad I got to reunite with you on our trip to Kansas City this summer. You were the type of person that follows through with plans. I was so impressed by how much you matured since we'd hung out last. You were so driven and motivated. I was looking forward to your move out to California. I know people say they want to leave Lincoln all the time, but I knew that you were really going to do it. You were so proud of yourself that day you came to pick me up, because you changed a your flat tire by yourself on the side of the road. You were such a good driver...

I can't event begin to imagine the pain Tammy, Bob, and Anna are feeling. My heart goes out to them. There's so many people out there who love you Alicia. You will be missed! I love you.